First and foremost, I think there is an object lesson to be learned in
the story of Rep. Phillip Hinkly, who was recently caught trying to pay an 18 year old young man for sex. That lesson is one for those Christians on the traditionalist side who are convinced that the healthiest and holiest thing any homosexual can do is ignore their feelings and try to live a heterosexual life, essentially to live in the closet. Rep. Hinkle's life and behavior provide a telling glimpse into that closet.
Many gay men and women will talk about how awful being in the closet is from the perspective of the damage to the self, the self-loathing, depression, loneliness and isolation. These are all valid points, but to my Christian friends I would like to point out one other aspect of the closet, abject immorality. You know that image of the gay man on the prowl in the park, bathroom or bathhouse that the right enjoys holding up as normative for the gay community so much? Those men are almost always closet cases. The ones who are not generally picked up the habit during their time in the closet.
As I've noted before, no amount of prayer or therapy will make the need for intimacy go away. That deep seated desire to hold and be held by someone you truly love, are truly attracted to, doesn't go away. And when that desire is sublimated, ignored or repressed it tends to come out in destructive ways. Many on the traditionalist side of this debate argue that our sexual passions are an incredibly powerful thing, that we ought to heed God's will for them lest they run rampant in our lives, controlling us and eventually destroying us. And I absolutely agree with this assessment. That is why I find it so important to consider the fruit produced by what we do and say, how we live our lives, especially when it comes to something as important as ones sexuality.
Below you will see an example of the fruit produced by the closet. You will see what happens when one attempts to hide, deny or otherwise repress their natural, God-given sexuality. You see the closet is a place of darkness where the light of God and the church cannot shine. It is a place lacking entirely in integrity because it is a place of deception and obfuscation. And in this place of darkness patterns of sin can, and usually do, emerge. Patterns that can lead an outwardly upstanding, Christian man to send the following emails to an 18 year old teenage boy...
"Cannot be a long time sugar daddy, but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?"
"I am an in shape married professional, 5'8", fit 170 lbs, and love getting and staying naked."
"How about $80 for services rendered and if real satisfied a healthy tip? That make it worth while?"
"Final for the record, for a really good time, you could get another 50, 60 bucks. That sound good?"
"If u want to consider spending night u might tell ur sis so she won't worry. Would have u back before 11 tomorrow. No extra cash just free breakfast and maybe late night snack."
Now Rep. Hinkle's story is blowing up because he is an anti-gay politician who has now been caught soliciting an 18 year old for gay sex. But don't kid yourself, this kind of thing goes on in the lives of regular people all the time. The ex-gays rarely hold on to that "ex" part, and those who do are still often caught "relapsing" at least once in their lives. And as any addict can tell you, for every time someone "relapses" publicly, there are certainly numerous times they've gotten away with it.
The closet, whether in its original incarnation or when gone back into after going the ex-gay route, is place lacking entirely in integrity. It is a place into which
no light can shine, and thus a place in which all manner of evil can thrive.
